Thanksgiving

I keep bugging Dan with questions.
"Does your mom make the kind of stuffing inside the bird, or only the kind that gets baked separately?"
"Growing up, were you guys an eat-at-2'o clock or eat-at-4'o clock Thanksgiving family?"
"What kind of sweet potatoes does your mom make?"
"What kind of pies?"
"There will be mashed potatoes, right?"

And really, I have no reason to question the merits of the Thanksgiving meal in Lynden. Sue is a phenomenal cook. Everything she's ever made, I have wanted more of, almost immediately. It's just that this is my very first Thanksgiving where I won't be with my parents. I know what you're thinking, Shelle, you're 30 years old, it's time to cut the cord. Don't worry, I have taken the command to "leave and cleave" very seriously and Dan and I are starting to make our own family traditions. That doesn't mean I won't miss the oh-so-very traditional Thanksgivings I enjoyed in the past.

Yes, we were cheesy and went around the table and everyone said something they were thankful for, and yes, as a teenager, I probably scowled through the exercise, but was secretly glad we did it anyway. We all had a job too. Jen would make a fruit salad, Kasey started out by setting the table, but I think he eventually was promoted to mashed potato man, and I did the appetizers. I took my job very seriously. As a kid, I cut up veggies and made a ranch dip, but my appetizers evolved as I grew up. One year I made a homemade cheese ball with fancy cheese and port wine. Another year I did a baked brie with honey.

Guests were always welcome. When I was in college, my dad always asked if all my friends had plans, because if they didn't, they were certainly invited to Oregon with me. One year, right after I moved to Pullman, I invited my co-worker/friend, Kristene. She was from New Zealand and had never experienced an American Thanksgiving. She was a great help in the kitchen and fun to have around. My brother and sister thought she was pretty funny and everyone loved her "exotic" accent. But what was most entertaining to us was that at dinner she asked if she could have one of the turkey legs. Sure, why not? None of us cared for the leg. But apparently growing up, she and her brother fought over the drum sticks whenever their mom cooked a turkey. She was happy to have a turkey leg without a fight and we were happy to hear that sibling rivalry was just as prevalent on the other side of the world as it is in the good ol' USA.

This Thanksgiving we will all make some new memories. Jen has been promoted from fruit salad maker to the bringer-of-the-cheesecake at dinner with her husband's family. Kasey will do more than set the table and make mashed potatoes this year because this year he is hosting our parents in Des Moines. He and his wife are also having Christina's parents over too. And me? I'm not too sure what my Thanksgiving job will be this year. Maybe Sue will need help with the pies or the stuffing or the potatoes. Or maybe I'll even make my signature appetizers, just at a different house this year.

Have a great Thanksgiving everyone. Make some great memories and remember the fun times of Thanksgivings past. We have so much to be thankful for.

I Quit!

That’s it. I quit.
I really mean it this time. It’s over. I’m done. No more.
Nail Biting, you and I are officially no longer together.

Oh, we’ve had a good run, probably 26 or 27 years, but as of Monday, no more. I’m tired of making excuses for keeping you around. I’m tired of covering you up with acrylic nails that I can’t bite through. I’m tired of hiding you and biting in secret. Well, guess what? The secret is out in the open and Nail Biting you are no longer welcome as a part of my life.

I’m sure I started biting as a form of self-soothing, similar to thumb-sucking, that’s how it typically starts anyway. I actually don’t remember becoming a nail biter, I just always was. But I didn’t outgrow it like most kids do. I do remember when I was stressed or anxious, biting my nails down so short they bled would actually make me feel better.

Slowly I’ve been letting go of being so tightly wound. Imperfection on my part doesn’t cause a flood of self-imposed guilt. I definitely am more relaxed and laid-back. You know that super-cheesy and cliché phrase, ‘Let go and Let God?’ Well I’m much, much better able to do that now. I’ve let go of my anxiety, but the Nail Biting has still stuck around. I’m not sure why, I thought they went together hand-in-hand. So now I am taking active and deliberate steps toward letting this go as well. On Monday night I took off my acrylic nails and carefully filed my little stubs. I covered them in a thick nail-hardener and then used a tastes-yucky clear polish as a topcoat. I bought gum to chew on in case the need to bite becomes overwhelming. I think I’ve got all my bases covered.

I used to joke that I’ve been biting my nails as long as I’ve had teeth. Lana now has teeth, two of them to be exact. I don’t want her to be a nail biter. I need to be a good example to her, but more than that, I need to teach her healthy ways to deal with anxiety. I need her to know that it’s okay not to please all the people all of the time. I need her to know it’s okay to say you’re sad or scared or worried. Of course, she’s five months old right now. When she’s unhappy, she lets me know. But as she grows up, she’ll watch me, and my actions, infinitely more than my words, will demonstrate to her what is acceptable and what is not.

So dear friends, this is where you come in. I am officially making all of you my accountability partners. I have admitted I have a problem and now I am asking for help. If you see me biting, please tell me to stop (in a loving way please). Ask me how my stop-nail-biting progress is coming. If you’re one of those people who can beat your bad habits by yourself, that’s cool, good for you. But this is too big, too important for me to go at it alone. I thank you all in advance for helping me out with this one.

If you have beaten a bad habit or an addiction, please share your story with me. I am inspired by people who have overcome anything that was holding them back. Whether it’s smoking or road rage or even, yes, nail biting, I would be honored to hear from you. You can leave a comment or email me (shelle.lenssen@live .com).

Day Two is so far off to a good start!

I'm a lazy Blogger

I'm sorry about that. Really I am. I know there are some (Hi Mom!) who check this blog religiously, waiting for new pictures of Lana and to read about our latest adventures. It's been two whole weeks since I've updated. It's not that I haven't had anything to blog about, it's just that I haven't been disciplined enough to sit down and do it. I was thinking of blogging about the perfect day Lana and I had on Wednesday. See, it was Veteran's Day, so I had the day off from work. The two of us stayed home and played and sang silly songs (okay, so I was the one doing the singing, Lana laughed at me.) I got some projects around the house done. We even had a couple of things to do outside. So I bundled Lana up in her front carrier, put her ear hat on her head, and zipped up both up in one of Dan's vests. She was cozy and warm and we were able to be outside for a bit.

I was also thinking of updating this blog with Lana's progress into the world of eating solids. She does a good job of making a mess, but I'm still not convinced that she's actually swallowing anything yet. We'll keep practicing and I'm sure she'll get it eventually.

I've also been meaning to share this photo. Kasey and Christina sent Lana some Halloween treats. A mummy bib and a headband with black bats on it. I was surprised that she actually let me put the headband on her, but she thought she was pretty hot stuff. Her hand is in her mouth because it makes her sore gums feel better. Yup, we're officially going through teething right now. Lana has one bitty baby tooth on her bottom gum. Tooth #2 should come anytime.

And then there is this. I could write post after post about this. Lana loves her Daddy so much and Dan is as smitten as can be with this chubby-cheeked baby girl.

I could write ten thousand words about what it means to me that they're developing a healthy father-daughter relationship at such an early age. I could go on and on about how happy this makes me and how much Dan loving Lana makes me love him even more.

Thanks for being patient. I promise I'll try to do a better job with the updates.

I Love Pumpkins!

Especially when they're this cute!

Lana Eats!

Last week we tried feeding Lana some rice cereal. She didn't know what to think, and then didn't really care for it too much. She only lasted a couple of minutes. Here's a video that shows her first attempt at solid food.

Two years just flies by......

....when you're married to Dan.
Yup, can you believe it's been two years? It seems like only last week I was worried about flowers that were locked in the reception hall (they were, we just picked up new ones at the grocery store), worried about my hair not looking the way I wanted it to (it ended up looking way better than I expected), hoping I wouldn't cry when it was my turn to say wedding vows (my voice cracked a bit, but I kept it together), wondering if the food would be ready and delicious when guests arrived at the reception hall (it was fabulous and on-time because all my family worked so hard to make it so) and just full of all the typical wedding day jitters. It all turned out fine. We both said 'I do' when we were supposed to and just like that, we went from being two single people, to one married couple.

Now that we've been married for two years, I can honestly say I can't imagine my life being any different. Dan 'gets' me and my oddities and doesn't really question them, just accepts and loves. He knows I am quick to doubt myself and my abilities and he diffuses all my negative thoughts before they have a chance to take root. He's the first to tell me I'm a great wife and mother when I feel as if I'm failing the remedial course in both subjects. He's the one who washes, cuts and bags my carrots nearly every evening for my lunch the next day. He's the one who doesn't mind that the bed usually doesn't get made. He's the one I snuggle with and the one who tickles me until I think I'm going to cry.

Even though it's been two full years, I still feel like we're newlyweds. Dan is still the person I want to share a funny story with, or vent about my day too. He's still the one to validate my point of view. He's my biggest advocate and my number one fan, and I hope he knows I am the same for him.

I spent the three months of our engagement reading every marriage 'how-to' book I could find. I was certain that there had to be some magic secret to having a great marriage. I didn't find the answer in any book in the library. Instead, I've spent the last two years discovering it for myself. I won't claim to have all the answers, but for me, the very best answer is having Dan for a husband.

An Update From Lana

Hello. Mommy is busy, so I'm doing the update today. First off, I'm now 4 months old. Can you believe that? It feels like I've been around for way longer than that. What in the world did Mommy and Daddy do before I got here? I think I make their lives more exciting and more fun. Last weekend was my Dedication. Mommy and Daddy took me to the front of the church and I got to see all the people. Pastor Mark is my new friend and he held me and prayed for me and all the people prayed too. Mommy and Daddy promised that they would always teach me about God and Jesus. My Oregon Grandparents came to the Dedication and they visited me and told me I was getting so big and that I was precious. Some of my Lynden family came too. Uncle Dean and Aunt Lyndsey held me and smiled at me and thought I was so pretty. My cousins, Avery and Kenzie were so fun. They like to play with Alison and Sadie and Grant, but they played with me too. They tickled me and sang songs to me. Pretty soon I'll be big enough that I can keep up with them.

Today was my day to visit Dr. Mike. He's very nice and he smiled at me and made me laugh. The nurse weighed and measured me. I weigh 14 lbs 1 oz and am 25.25 inches long. Mommy says I'm probably going to be tall. At the end, the nurse came back in and made me drink icky stuff that made me cry. Then she gave me two shots in my leg. It hurt so bad and I was so mad. I screamed really loudly and Mommy rocked me and loved on me until I felt better. I was cranky this evening, but I'm okay now. I even have a tweety bird band-aid.

Mommy also got me a new chair. I can sit at the table with Mommy and Daddy when they have dinner. I keep hearing that they're going to start feeding me solids, but Mommy says not until I can sit in my chair for a few minutes without fussing. I didn't last very long in the chair today. Maybe I'll do better tomorrow.

Random Bits

Here are a few random bits from our week.
1. Last weekend was Lana's Dedication at Church. It was really cool and Lana behaved wonderfully. She smiled at Pastor Mark and I think she liked being up there in front of all the people. My parents and Dan's brother, Dean and his family, along with our Pullman friends and family were there to share in the happy time. I'll post pictures another time.
2. This is Lana's first craft project. I think she did a great job.

3. This is my most recent craft project. I copied the idea from a crafting blog and put my own spin on it. I'm pretty happy with how it turned out.

4. For dinner tonight, I made chicken fried steak, gravy, steamed veggies, these potatoes and brownies. I think Dan just fell in love with me all over again.
5. Lana is bald and it doesn't appear that she's going to get hair anytime soon. Several friends have shared stories about how their babies were bald and then by month 4 or 6 or 8, they'd suddenly get hair. Well, Lana is 3 days away from 4 months and her hair situation has not improved. It's okay Lana-bean. I guess you'll get hair when you're good and ready too.

6. Because Lana is bald, she wears a hat whenever we go outside. She has lots of hats, but right now, this purple ear hat is my favorite. It might be her favorite too. Do you see her smile?
7. Her 4-month doctor's appointment is on Monday. I'm nervous for the shots already. I am excited to see how much she's grown though. I see her everyday, so I don't really notice, except when I have to move her up in diaper sizes or retire clothes that are too small.

8. One year ago, I was throwing up nearly every day and tired and miserable. I'd do that 1000 times over again to get my baby Lana in the end. She makes it all very, very worth it.

My morning....

Okay here goes. Here's a running commentary of my morning.
Good morning Husband, so nice of you to serve as my human alarm clock. You are much more pleasant than that annoying buzzer. I love that we get to spend these few minutes together in the morning. What? Oh, I have to actually get out of the nice warm bed. Sigh. Oohkay. Sigh. Time to pump. Oh the price my body pays to feed my child. Totally worth it though. I happened to check out the price of formula in the grocery store. That stuff's expensive. No fancy-schmancy stuff for our girl. It's homemade for you all the way Baby Girl. Thank you Husband for bringing me my cup of coffee. You're the best. Time to make up the bottles and pack the pumping bag for work. Check the time. Hey, I might actually have enough time for breakfast this morning. Maybe I'll even get the bed made. Get dressed, do hair. Why won't my hair ever fix the way I want it to? Briefly fantasize about chopping off hair in a short, modern, chic do. Then I remember that doing so would make Dan very sad. Okay long hair, you can stay, for now. Bye Dan. Love you. Have a good day. Get Lana up. Good morning Sweetheart. I'm so glad you slept well. Oh your morning smiles just melt my heart. Yay! your pajamas and bedding are all clean. Let's get you dressed. Purple today? You look lovely in purple. Well, actually, you look lovely in everything. But I may be biased. Time for breakfast for you. Whoa, slow down frat-boy. No need to chug it. Holy smokes that was a big burp, and another. Good, no tummy bubbles. Big happy, contented smiles. Oh I love this baby. Check the clock, plenty of time for a bowl of Cheerios, and I shouldn't forget my vitamins. Okay, play time for you for a few minutes while Mommy eats. Rinse bowl, leave in sink. Apparently I do not have the extra 4.5 seconds it would take to put said bowl in the dishwasher. Gather day's necessities, go through checklist in my head. Lana's three bags of milk? Check. My work bag with lunch? Check. Wallet? Check. Pumping bag? Check. Take everything out to the car, start the car and get the heat running. Dang, it's chilly this morning. Okay Baby, time to load up. Let's put on your cute white jacket. I love the bright flowers. Oh, and a hat. Your little bald head needs to be covered. When are you going to get some hair? Let's go with the yellow hat today, it looks nice and warm.

Why are your fingers in your mouth? Could you possibly be teething? I'll have to read up on that later. Turn you around to check your clothes. Good, they still look clean. Let's not have any last-minute blow-outs this morning, okay Lana? Good Girl! Wait, what was that? You're burping time should be over. Oh no, seriously, it that white spit-up on my coat? And on my jeans? And on the carpet? And not a drop on you? Of course. Grab a damp rag, clean up as best as possible. Check the time. Running two minutes behind. The bed is not getting made today. Sigh, maybe tomorrow. Put Lana in her car seat, stick the bink in her mouth. Tell her to shush when she starts fussing. Load us both in the car. Nearly hit Husband's truck as I back out of the garage. That would not be good. I hear fussing from the backseat. Sorry Lana-bean, I really can't do much for you from here. Turn the radio on. Ugh, Rascal Flatts. Baby screams. It's okay Baby, I'll change it, I don't really like them either. Okay, how about Jeremy Camp. Lana, we like him, remember? No response, but at least she's quiet. She's probably fallen asleep. Wow, the sky is sure pretty this morning. Wave to the drivers of the cars I see every morning. We don't know each other, but we're buddies. Get to Patti's. Get Lana out of her seat. Grab her milk and her bink. Good morning Patti. Big smiles from Lana. Kisses and I love yous for my girl. I'm excited for her. Today is library day. I am so happy she's experiencing the library and the whole 'reading culture' at such a young age. Off to work for me. Campus isn't crazy yet. I get my parking spot. Gather my bags and walk up to the lab. Okay, work time. Time to be 'on.' Wait a minute. Haven't I been 'on' all morning?

Happy Girl!

Here's our Lana. Fresh off a good nap, belly full, and nothing to do but play and be happy.