Thursday, September 9, 2010

Mother of the Year

Lately here on the ol’ blog it’s been pretty sweet. Pictures of a cute little girl in the midst of her adorable toddlerhood, musings of a first-time mother, and sentimental nostalgia make for a rather Norman Rockwellian image of life at our place. Alas, it’s not all like that. Lest you start to believe I have super powers greater than the average mom, I give you this:

To the Mother of the Year Award Committee:
I have previously submitted entries nominating myself for the esteemed Mother of the Year Award, however, I believe this current application and nomination is far superior to my previous ones.

Reason #416 Why I am Mother of the Year
Several weeks ago our family went on a lovely trip across the state. We made it back in time for me and Dan to get the laundry done and unpack the bags. Lana had started to develop a runny nose and a slight cough and I worried that she might be getting sick. I made a mental note to ask Miss Belinda to keep an extra watchful eye on her. I put Lana to bed normally and she slept through the night. Sometime in the night I awoke to hear her coughing. I listened, hoping it wouldn’t wake her, and she seemed to settle down fine. I didn’t hear any other disturbances the rest of the night.
The next morning I hit my snooze button twice before I finally got out of bed. Once it hit me that I was running late I ran to get ready and get Lana ready. She was still sound asleep when I went into her room and her blankets were balled up in the corner of her crib. I quickly changed her, got her a bottle and threw dinner fixins’ in the crock-pot. I made sure to close her bedroom door so she wouldn’t toddle in there and get herself in trouble. After a quick breakfast and teeth-brushing, we were out the door, and we weren’t even late.
That evening I was actually feeling pretty good about myself. Lana had a good day with Miss Belinda and I got a lot accomplished at work, including a lunch-time run. The house smelled wonderful because of the bubbling crock-pot dinner. Dan came home and the three of us enjoyed a nice dinner together and we got our chores done.
It was only upon entering Lana’s room to get her ready for bed that I noticed a problem. Well, actually at first I wasn’t sure it was a problem, but I definitely noticed a horrible smell. It was overpowering and unfamiliar, not a typical “baby smell” I was used to. I checked the diaper pail and the dirty clothes hamper – nothing. I wondered if there was a dead mouse hidden away somewhere. Finally, I checked the crib and found the blankets in the corner were covered in putrid vomit. Yes, you read that right, I said vomit. Sometime in the night (presumably when I heard her cough) my sweet baby girl threw up and just slept through it. In the hustle and hubbub of getting us both ready and out the door on-time, I didn’t notice that she was sick and had puked in her sleep. I failed to be aware of the overall health and well-being of my child. I let her go out for the day when she needed to stay home.
I called Dan in and we stripped the bedding, got out clean linens and took Lana’s temperature. She had a very slight fever, so we gave her some Tylenol. She slept fine and had no fever the next morning. Even though she bounced back from the incident, it in no way excuses my behavior or the fact that I let my baby sleep in her own vomit.
I understand that the Mother of the Year Award Committee has already reviewed my previous entries, including #4 I Starved my Baby the First Four Days of Her Life, #81 I Drove Across Town with the Child Seat Not Securely Fastened, #101 I Force-fed my Daughter Peas and #234 I Took Pictures of my Screaming Child Instead of Consoling Her When She had the Biggest Meltdown Ever. I believe this current entry, #416 My Daughter Puked in Her Sleep and I Didn’t Notice Until 13 Hours Later far exceeds the merits of the previously submitted ones. According to the Mother of the Year Award rulebook, entries are judged year-round with a final decision made in late December. I assure you, I will consider your gold statuette a fine Christmas present and will have an appropriate place on my shelf cleaned and dusted, awaiting its arrival. I look forward to hearing from the committee later this year.

Thank you,
Shelle Lenssen
Nominee, 2010 Mother of the Year


AngMomof3 said...

Ha ha!!! That's funny. But I'm sorry it made you feel less than great.

Thank goodness kids are forgiving and we are never expected to be perfect. I think you rank pretty close! :)

grammyc said...

Poor baby (you or Lana???) I'm glad you are both doing better now. Can't wait to see you this weekend at the Round-up... Let'er Buck!!!!

Anita Cory said...

Priceless! Thank you for sharing ALL the parts of the "Newlywed Lenssens" life!

mommyneedsanap said...

Oh friend, there are days we might be neck and neck with the committee members' votes.

I'm glad she bounced right back! And hold on, did I read something about a run during your lunch hour? Now that's impressive!